June, June

I struggle to write this experience. I struggle not because I have any doubt about what happened, but because it left me with so many unanswered questions. Reflecting back on it, it did serve to clarify one belief that I have held ever since I can remember and one that is at the core of what my church teaches. The belief that I am talking about is the belief that there is life after death.

First let me give you some background. The year was 1963. I was 17 years old. We lived in a house on VanOwen Street in Canoga Park, California. Prior to exact date of the experience some pretty strange things had been happening in that house.

At first, all we heard was a rustling noise late at night as if someone was walking between Peggy and Wendy’s room and mine. Peggy and Wendy shared a large room in a section of the house which was clearly an add on. (It was probably originally a den). My room was a small room next to theirs. Clothing seemed to be rustling against the heater which stood at the end of their room right next to mine. I also heard something that sounded like someone looking through the trash can in my room. There was a wasp’s next in the ceiling of my room near the window and the wasps would become agitated at night and swarm, sometimes stinging me if I moved in my sleep. Wendy said that she had seen someone standing in front of their dresser looking in the mirror. She described her as having long black hair and a long flowing dress. Wendy thought that she was primping in the mirror, but when she looked into the mirror, Wendy could not see the reflection of the woman in it. Peggy and Wendy reported strange noises. They said it sounded like someone was walking around in their room and then going into my room.

On the night of March 23^rd, I was just about to fall asleep when I again heard the rustling noises. Suddenly the atmosphere of the room changed. The room grew cold and I felt an overwhelming feeling that someone was standing by my bed. This feeling filled me with terror. I couldn’t open my eyes, but the feeling persisted. I then I heard an ethereal voice say “June” softly. I still couldn’t open my eyes. I felt the presence stronger and again was filled with dread. I thought, Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, it will go away. The voice said “June” again, a little louder. I still keep my eyes closed and felt the presence stronger. “June” it said again, louder still. I still wouldn’t open my eyes. Finally, I felt the presence leave. It was a long time before I could fall asleep again.

I don’t know why I was so afraid. The ghost that we had been having experiences with didn’t seem to be malevolent, she even seemed playful and had not tried to contact us in anyway. This seemed different, however. Although the presence I felt didn’t seem to be dark, it was strong and I still resisted contact with it.

The next morning my Mom was fixing my hair when the phone rang. She went to answer it. I heard her talking, but not what she was saying. When she got off the phone and came back into the room and just as she was about to open her mouth to tell us what the phone call was about, I blurted out “Gram died”. (Gram is what we called my maternal great-grandmother). Mom said, “How did you know?” I couldn’t tell her because I didn’t really know, but I did tell her about the visit I had the night before. We speculated that it may have been Gram trying to tell me something or that the ghost was trying to give me a message. Somehow, however, I seemed to have gotten the message that Gram had died.

Why didn’t I open my eyes, why didn’t I look? Now I’ll never know who was trying to contact me and if they had more to tell me. After that night, we never heard from our ghostly visitor again!

One thing that this experience clarified for me without a shadow of a doubt was that there is life after death and that we exist as spirits (ghosts).

It’s hard to try and explain to anyone who hasn’t had any experience with spirits or ghosts how you can believe in them but if you have had an experience you can’t deny it.

It reminds me of what Joseph Smith said about his first vision “…I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it…(Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith History, Chapter 1 Verse 25).